My mother has great friends. Once such friend; is the late Carol Z. Bless her soul. Carol was incredibly witty and smart. She was not afraid to speak her mind and share knowledge.
Here is an example of a conversation we had: Carol asked me, “If I were to tell you that you were a horrible piano player, what would you do?” I answered that I would laugh and agree with her about that. She responded by telling me that is because I do not see myself as being a piano player.
Then she asked, “If I said you were a horrible mother, how would you respond?” I said that I would get mad at her and feel hurt that she would say such a thing. Carol then said, “Exactly! The reason you would do that is because your identity is tied up in being a great mother. It all comes back to that and that is how we react to things in our life.”
She went on to say that people take things personally and get upset because of how they think of themselves. Everything in your life is tied into your identity and how you feel about yourself.
After Carol died, I wrote this song in memory of her and others that were close to me.
It is called, “Being in the Light with You”
~ Seann Vinyasa-Billson